My Papa used to say, “It’s nice to be nice to the nice.” This
may seem simplistic, but if you’re a girl between the ages of puberty and death
you probably need to be reminded. If you are nasty and put out negative energy
it is going to come right back at you (probably not as quickly as the object of
your nastiness would like, but such is life).
Girls are insecure. It’s a fact. Some more than others, but
I’m pretty sure that even the amazing Heidi Klum (love her!) has her weird
little insecurity quirk. This usually leads to one of two things: Gretchen from
Mean Girls style neediness or just
plain meanness.
While I could write an essay on why it’s not cool to be mean
(citing examples from both sides of that situation), I’m instead going to jump
to the part of the story where I’m almost 30 years old and I’m tired of mean
behavior. I don’t want to dish out it (see the karma-based comment from the
first paragraph) and I certainly don’t want to take it (but I may still have
some coming back to me, the High School years weren’t pretty).
If you’re in a bar and a girl is talking to your boyfriend,
you can casually walk up to them and introduce yourself, but DO NOT give her
the stink eye on your way over or during the intro, DO NOT introduce yourself
as his girlfriend because a) I’m sure she’s already gotten the point and b)
that’s his job, if he doesn’t do so then you can give him a swift smack upside
the head later and DO NOT have a general air of defensiveness and/or feigned
superiority.
If one of your guy friends brings out a new girlfriend you
should be nice to her. It may be nearly impossible to prevent yourself from
making snap judgments, but keep them to yourself to avoid creating an US VS HER
vibe. That makes you and your friends
look like mean girls - don’t paint them with your mean-colored brush.
Try not to use the terms whore,
slut, ho-bag, etc. You sound insecure.
And finally, I do not care how hot you are, being mean is
ugly. You can spend all the time in the world on your hair and make-up and your
outfit may ooze sex, but nothing is more oozing and toxic than negativity. So
smile, be nice, strike up a conversation with someone who looks a little lost
in the crowd (unless they’re creepy/wasted, they most likely did that to
themselves) because you never know when you’re going to be stuck in a crowded
room with only your cell phone to keep you company.
