SoulCycle Goes Gaga

Some people love a parade, but me? I love a theme. So when my local SoulCycle posted that instructor Nick S. would be doing a Lady Gaga themed ride I was all about it. Nick S. is tough and definitely more "city" than the other Long Island SC instructors (translation: he curses and talks about rewarding yourself with cocktails post-class), but I enjoy that about him. Besides, it didn't really matter who was teaching it because I will go just about anywhere if it means I can dress up in costume.

Most of Lady Gaga's stage outfits don't exactly translate to the gym (her raw meat dress would probably cook in the heat of a normal SoulCycle class), so I decided to go Gaga-esque instead with a tomato red, studded motorcycle jacket (this was left in my locker during the ride), a black tank, black footless tights and -- the pièce de résistance -- a pair of silver spangled hot pants (side note on these: I bought them at an Urban Outfitters in London for about 10 pounds and everyone asked 'when are you ever going to wear those?' Really? Do you know me, my friends? I also wore them as part of a circus ringleader costume a la Britney a few years back.).

When I first walked in it was kind of like that scene in Legally Blonde where Elle walks into the non-costume party dressed as a Playboy Bunny, but only because everyone else was dressed in their usual mix of Soul-branded apparel and LuluLemon. Thankfully, anyone who acknowledge my sparkly hot pants took a moment to compliment my nod to the theme (including Nick S., naturally I did an internal *woot, woot* when this happened, despite the fact that it was the big push most instructors do to challenge you right before you switch to arms).

The ride was great. My favorite thing about SoulCycle is the great lengths they go to to coordinate the movement to the play list, so the theme just kicks it up a notch (provided that you like the artist). "Marry the Night," "Born This Way," and, my personal favorite, "You and I" were all included and Nick S. even managed to slip in a Gaga song I wasn't familiar with - well played, sir.

The crowd at the Roslyn SoulCycle can be a little standoffish at times, but everyone checked their egos at the door for this ride and I loved it! Guys, girls, 15 year-old North Shore girls riding courtesy of their ridiculous allowances, we were all one in the light of the grapefruit-scented candles.

Nick S. was fantastic -- not only did he instruct a kick-butt class, as per usual, but he showed up all Gaga-ed out in a blonde wig, over-sized sunglasses, patterned sports bra and crops, topped with a denim vest emblazoned with "Born This Way" on the back. Bravo, Nick S., bravo.

Bottom line: if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend checking out a theme ride at a SoulCycle near you.

That Sh*t Ain't Right

A former friend used to say this frequently. It applied to so many different situations, whether it was a bleach-blonde pot-slut passing out in a tube top and pajama pants in a common area of the dorm or a guy one of our friends had made out with who gave her the head drop instead of a hello, it was always the perfect statement to sum up when an outfit or an action just ain't right. So without further ado I bring to you the newest segment of KimboNotKimmy, "That Sh*t Ain't Right."

This morning at hot yoga the girl in front of me was wearing a tube top. Personally, I believe that the type of woman who wears a strapless top to work out is the same type of person who wears her underwear to the beach because "it's basically the same thing" as a bathing suit. It's not like I was decked out in LuluLemon H2T, but my souvenir t-shirt from Hawaii and Adidas crops are way more functional than a shirt with no straps in this situation.

In addition to her inappropriate attire she also repeatedly hit my feet with her hands during stretches. Yes, I am new to yoga and the room was crowded, but if my feet are down first, isn't the proper etiquette to reposition your hands, not swat at my feet like a bunch of gnats? Just sayin'...

...that sh*t ain't right.

LuluLemon Yogabowl Warehouse Sale

In case you hadn't heard, LuluLemon is currently holding one of their massive warehouse sale out on Long Island (for those not familiar with the area, it's about 1/2 an hour outside of NYC and these things never happen out here). After a long work week I wasn't sure if I was up for it, but the brand's Twitter handle assured me that there was no line to get in, so I headed off to the home of the Islanders, Nassau Coliseum. 

As a bargain shopper I feel that is it my duty to share my findings with my fellow shoppers, so here's the skinny on the sale:

Pricing was good, but not great. Remember, this is a warehouse sale, not a sample sale; this means that there will be a lot in terms of quantity, but not so much in terms of markdowns. Here's the pricing they had posted when you walked in (there were also smaller signs throughout and each item had a tag with a corresponding sticker, very user-friendly).

From what I saw, keep in mind that I was looking mostly in the 2/4/6 sections and running clothes as opposed to yoga-specific items, the biggest selection was in pants and crops for bottoms and long sleeved shirts and tanks for tops. It was slim pickings in the accessories departments, probably because these items are one size fits all.

Rumor: Parking is $10
Truth: There was no one in the booths when I arrived -- hooray, free parking for me!
Update (Saturday AM): My sister went this morning and they were enforcing the $10 parking fee -- womp, womp.

Rumor: Mandatory coat and bag check.
Truth: Coat and bag check was optional on Friday evening, but it's also complimentary, so I seriously advise that you take advantage of it. The place is packed, you're going to be bumping into racks and people and working up a sweat, trust me, the less you have hindering you the better.

Rumor: No strollers allowed.
Truth: I almost ate it tripping over a stroller. The poor child inside had no idea, nor did she seem to notice or mind the fact that her mother was using the handles of her stroller to hold a variety of garments. Since it wasn't that crowded this wasn't a huge deal, but I'm sure Saturday and Sunday will be packed, so I would advise against it. Even if you bring someone else to watch your little yogi, there aren't many places on the sales floor for them to rest. People made makeshift seats on a couple of low platforms, but they definitely did not look comfortable.

Rumors: Yoga demonstrations and dance contests.
Truth: These happened earlier (I know this because I saw pictures on Twitter, seriously, if you are even thinking about attending this event you'd be foolish not to check out their account), but by the time I go there the only yoga "demonstration" was a random, really fit guy in a tank top doing some fairly impressive* yoga poses at the base of the escalators on your way in. Props to him though.
*take my terminology with a grain of salt, I know all of 3 yoga poses, most of which my 3 year-old niece can do better than me.
Update (Saturday AM):  Little kids were doing a dance routine around 8:30, we hope they gave them and their parents a discount.

Rumor: Crazy lines
Truth: 5:15 on Friday evening must have been the time go because the only line I waited on was for the fitting room and it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes. We'll see how my sister fares with this factor when she goes tomorrow morning.
Update (Saturday AM): The line is back, big sis waited about 1/2 an hour, gave me her haul report about an hour later: 2 tanks, 1 long-sleeved top and 1 pair of crops.

What I walked away with:
(2) pairs of crops @ $45/ea (Yes, they are 2 different pairs of grey pants. The pair on the left fits like harem pants, the pair on the rights are cropped sweats with a back pocket - I do love a pocket.)


(2) long-sleeved tops @ $39/ea (All of the l/s shirts had the thumbs holes. As someone who grew up in the age of grunge and made her own thumb holes, I am obsessed with these things.)


(2) pairs of running shorts @ $29/ea (Both pairs have a pocket in the back, perfect for putting your ID, keys and a few bucks.)

(1) "Brisk Run Headband" @ $4

Favorite item purchased: Pink/purple/black running shorts.
Total spent: $240.64
Total time: Just under 1 hour including walk to and from car.

Added advice
Tweet them: seriously, whoever is handling the sale's Twitter account is amazing. They give constant updates about the size of the line, they post pics of outfits put together from the current offerings and they answer any questions you tweet them. Before leaving work I tweeted asking if there were any accessories left and they replied "hats, undies, mat bags, scarfs are looking good!" (We will ignore their misspelling, they're answering an absurd amount of tweets.)
Size yourself up: I went in knowing that I had a handicap -- I had never tried on any of their clothes before! This is a rookie move in the sale world, so the first thing I did was try on a variety of items in the 2 sizes I thought might work for me. Just so you have an idea, sizing for LLL gear is kind of like bridesmaids dresses -- whatever size you wear, go at least a size up (i.e. I normally wear a 0 or a 2 and everything I bought was a 4 and if I'd gone for the tight crops I would've needed a 6). It's funny because I often comment on how I have no ass... and then I try to put on yoga pants.
Leave your modesty at home: If you plan on trying anything on, you had better not be shy. The group fitting rooms are basically just a big black curtain separating you and 50+ other women from the sales floor. Which leads me to my next point...
Clean your sweep: Wash everything you buy as soon as you get home. This might seem like an obvious statement, but the fact that there were women trying on yoga gear without underwear was kind of disgusting. I was seriously the only woman in the group fitting room who had on boys shorts, it was either thongs or commando, so clean those fatigues!


Happy shopping and namaste*!
*Again, not a yoga person, mostly know this term from LOST. Thanks, DHARMA Initiative.