Ben, The Bachelor: Just Another Dude

So this week we saw a whole new side to Ben. No, not that "Latin swagger" side that dons a white panama hat without a hint of irony, the frat-ish side that shows he really is just another dude.

Week after week these women have been touting him as the greatest thing since sliced (white) bread. Ben's not my type, a friend on Facebook pointed out the striking resemblance between Ben and Francine from the Arthur which really sealed the deal there, but I could see how certain girls would find him attractive. Before this week he'd really just been super dorky, but that's no crime, in fact, plenty of girls find that endearing. However, 2 things happened this week that, in my humble opinion, have completely ruined his nice guy 'aw shucks' image and revealed that Ben, the Bachelor, is indeed just another guy trolling for butt.

1. Ben picks personal trainer Elyse for a 1-on-1 date on a yacht. They have a nice enough time, or so it seems, until they're sitting at dinner and he picks up the rose while he explains to her that he was looking to get to know her better on this date, but the conversation takes a turn for the worse as he says that that basically worked against her and she will not be getting the rose. Psych! Um, what? Why on earth would you pick the rose up if you weren't going to give it to her? That's just cruel. Elyse then goes into the usual melt-down why don't you like me? what's wrong with me? downward spiral, a reaction which probably wouldn't have varied whether he picked up the rose or not, but have some class, man. The bottom line: not cool, Ben, not cool.

2. Emily attempts to apologize for throwing Courtney under the bus last week (I'll admit, I did not see most of last week's episode, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, but I'm back now). She botches the apology and basically goes right back into saying that Courtney is a two-faced whack-job. This is a tough situation because Emily is definitely right about cray-cray Courtney, but she did go into the conversation under the guise of apologizing for it and focusing on her own relationship with Ben, so he is also right when he points this out. However, dumby Ben, who is obviously picking with his pecker when it comes to Courtney, tells Emily, "I encourage you to drop it and tread lightly." Excuse me? If a guy spoke to me like that he wouldn't have to worry about whether or not to give me a rose, I'd be out of there. He may as well have told her to mind her f*%$ing business. This is totally the kind of speech a girl gets from a guy who is sleeping around on her and I think it says a lot about how he would be in a "relationship," although this comment, along with his constant mentions of how he's just looking for a serious relationship out of this and is NOT sure that he wants to get married, brings me right back to my theory that Ben is just using this show to score some serious butt.

Bottom line: Ben is a dude, a guy, a boy in men's clothing (okay, that's debatable, especially in this episode). Why women are competing for him is beyond me, but it's entertaining (most of the time) so I'll continue to watch.

Other fun items from this week's episode:

Whoever yelled out "Puerto Rico does it better!" definitely owns one of those Blondes/Burnettes/Redheadds/Irish-girls/Italian-girls/German-girls/Runners do it better shirts from Urban Outfitters.

Chris Harrison's clever "I HOPE to see all of you at the next rose ceremony" comment, which obviously meant that it was opposite day in the house and at least one girl would not be making it to said ceremony. Oh Chris, you tease us so.

Courtney's "Be Nice" shirt complete with roses with thorns and threatening font.

Nicky's pause when saying, "we've come all the way to this beautiful [pause]... Puerto Rico," because she is obviously not sure if Puerto Rico is an island (it's actually an archipelago and Vieques, which is the island they were on, is one of the smaller ones).

Kudos to the shaved ice guy for creating the most phallic "piraguas" I have ever seen. He even made it an oddly fleshy color. I wonder if the producers suggested he do that.

Courtney says that Kasie B. is a little girl and Ben needs a woman. So, then why does Courtney herself repeatedly speak in a baby voice? There's a head scratcher for ya'.

My first though when I saw Courtney on the stairs to Ben's room at the W Retreat and Spa was, "okay, where is she hiding the dead rabbit?"

I could go on about Courtney for pages, but the previews tell me she's going to keep throwing loads of material my way, so I'll end it here. 'Til next week, this is the final paragraph.

Let the Bachelor Bashing Begin!

Another calendar year has gone by and after the usual Christmas/NYE bacchanalia it's time to start fresh. Having an additional day off from work I chose to spend yesterday rife with cliche - cleaning the house and working out.

As a reward for all of my clean-slate-ness I indulged in the season premier of The Bachelor (along with a turkey burger with mozzarella on a toasted sesame seed bun and a glass of red wine - it's good for the heart! - for dinner). While I haven't watched this show in several seasons, I was happy to see that it's basically the same. Chris Harrison is still my absolute favorite part of the show - what I wouldn't give to hear his inner monologue! The girls are all bat-shit crazy, their mental conditions only exacerbated by wine and competition. And the gowns they wore for their arrivals ranged from fab (Jennifer's blue sequined floor length number) to fail (blogger Jenna's insecurities were hinted at the minute she stepped out of that limo in that sparkly white sack which also appeared to be missing sections of sequins).

Any of the women who arrived without a gimmick critiqued those who did (while I do see Brittany's move of bringing Grandma Sheryl along as a bit of an easy in, I didn't think it was necessary for the other girls to point out the poor woman's wrinkles - she's a grandmother for crying out loud! And she's obviously got more spunk and personality than most of you crazies). My personal favorite was the girl who just walked past Ben and into the house. Sucker that he is, his only response was, "bold move!"

But gimmick or not they all seemed to have really strange opening pick-up lines that were primarily profession related. Someone obviously suggested they do this, but one has to wonder if it was a clever producer looking for a laugh, an intern looking to earn brownie points or perhaps one of the ladies themselves (who then of course didn't use whatever cray-cray line she posited since she actually just hoping to make the rest of them look stupid).

The episode went on to capture the usual cattiness, that bizarre moment when Monica seemed to be hitting on one of the other female contestants and of course the final melt down of Jenna, which of course lead to her not getting a rose her securing a rose from Ben.

Lesson learned: perhaps Ben is still single because he's a bad judge of character, which conveniently makes for excellent TV.

Image courtesy of flickr.com user DartmoorGiant.

Internet Dependant

Not having internet at home seriously inhibits my blogging. Normally I don't even blog at home, I try to do it in the morning with my coffee, typing gets me into a work-related mindset. But work has been busy lately, which is a good thing, so there hasn't been much personal computer time during the day.

To be honest, it's been nice not going online at night. That extra hour of sleep I've been getting, which I'd normally spend updating my Mafia Wars and lazily browsing pictures of people I don't really care about before going to bed, shows in my face and makes me wonder if I hadn't developed a bit of an addiction. So a cleanse was in order.

Not having cable in my room, on the other hand, has been disorienting. As terrible as it sounds, I'm not entirely sure what day of the week it is if I don't know what shows are on that night. Last night I realized I've missed two weeks of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and I thought where did the time go? With nothing to distinguish the days they all sort of float about it my head. Sad.

It is with this in mind that I plan to make my summer TV schedule spreadsheet. I realize that this sounds ridiculous, but I'm a fan of lists, and schedule, and that little color-coded evenly measured time table of TV information puts a little order in my world.

In the meantime, thanks for sticking around.
-KNK

S&TC: 2

To say that I am a fan of Sex and the City is an understatement; it is hands down my favorite show of all time, so when the first movie came out I was skeptical. The final episode of the show's 6 season run was perfect and it's culmination had even conveniently coincided with my graduation from college.

For 4 years S&TC got me through it all; from hook-ups to break-ups. My roommates and I watched the VHS tapes of the first 2 seasons so much that they wore thin, which we then replaced with the DVDs. We spent long hungover weekends watching the girls and their city, which was also our city, change and grow together. So when it was time for all of us to move on from the safe haven of college, it only seemed fitting that the show would end at the same time.

In 2008, when the first movie came out, I was going through yet another major life change. Despite my rocky emotional state, I got dressed in my most Carrie-esque skirt and a white tank and I stood outside of the movie's premier at Radio City Music Hall to watch the stars go by. Hoards of people stood on that street and the skies opened up and it began to pour and I decided, I simply didn't care. With no room to move on the crowded and blockaded sidewalk, I decided to use this as my opportunity to get closer to metal guardrail that stood between me and the street, with all of my favorite characters on the other side.

Yes, I know that they are just that; characters, but they were characters that meant the world to me. From them I learned that it is okay to be imperfect. It is okay to be older and single (not that I'm quite at "older" yet, but when I am I will think of these women) as long as you've got your friends. I learned that I am not a simple girl, I am a Katie girl ("Ka-ka-ka-katie, ca-ca-ca-curly!") and there is no one else I would rather be.

So while bloggers and reporters and everyone else with internet access is bashing the soon to be released Sex & the City 2, where the girls wind up in Abu Dhabi (an admittedly ridiculous location), I eagerly await it. For no other reason than I am a fan and these characters, who restore wonderful meaning to the term "Leading Ladies," still mean the world to me.

Obligatory Oscars Post

After tweeting sporadically about Oscar fashions and attitudes last night, I feel that I should at least throw out my picks for best and worst dressed. This blog isn't solely about fashion, but I'd say the majority of the posts are, so how could I neglect to comment on the red carpet?

Best dressed: Rachel McAdams. I cannot stress how much I love this girl's sense of style. She always looks youthful and fresh and appropriate. Last night's Elie Saab Haute Couture gown was no exception with it's whimsical watercolor pattern, flatteringly fitted bodice and flowing skirt. The minute she came on screen I told my roommate that ABS better choose that gown as one of it's Oscar knock-offs. I haven't wanted an affordable version of a designer gown that badly since Gwyneth Paltrow's pink Ralph Lauren in 1999 when she accepted the award for Best Actress.

Worst dressed: Charlize Theron. This was seriously a toss-up between her and Jennifer Lopez, but Charlize's cinnamon bun boobs won out over the bubble-wrap appearance of the fabric that JLo's dress was made out of. It may seem like I'm picking on Vera Wang a lot lately (she's the designer to blame for Theron's gown), but seriously, what look was she going for when she selected this gown? Avant-garde bridesmaid? Not to mention that the whole dress looked like it could use a good steaming. Maybe whoever was dressing her didn't want to make the rosettes on her bust look any more wilted than they already did. This dress did a serious disservice to a striking woman.

One more thing: can someone please give an award to Kristen Stewart's stylist? That girl is miserable and yet each time I see her at an awards show or premier, despite my desire to smack her upside the head and yell at her about how lucky she is and could she please adjust her attitude accordingly, she looks great. Edgy, but appropriate. The midnight blue Monique Lhullier gown she wore last night was no exception. So brava to her stylist... but still blech to her.

Idol Accessories

Who is the stylist for American Idol? As each female contestant approaches the stage tonight I am amazed by the massive amount of jewelry weighing them down.

Back in the beginning AI was sponsored by companies like Old Navy and the kids looked youthful and fresh, if a little generic. Then the budgets got bigger and brands like Salvage, which is more rocker and pricier, made it into the wardrobe room. This wasn't bad, just new, for the most part it actually worked.

This season I'm just confused. The show is bigger than ever, but the apparel doesn't seem to reflect that, so my new theory is that they've put it all into the costume jewelry budget. Each girl comes out with a necklace more ridiculous or mismatched than the next.

3 quick points for the stylist, wherever he or she may be, accessorizing out:

1. One big piece of jewelry per outfit. Do not do an enormous pendant on a dainty chaining and matching (in size and cheesiness) earrings. It looks like you bought it at Kohl's, on a rectangle of plastic, as a set.

2. Either or, neither nor. Patterned top and dresses can be young and fun, but once you've chosen a busy pattern, keep the jewelry simple. If you do both the pattern and the jewelry, they are going to compete and they will both lose.

3. Leave the out-there accessories to Paris Hilton and the Olsen twins. Half gloves are ridiculous. Putting a ring on top of them makes it worse. Plus, they're kind of over. If someone comes out in one of those turban headbands in the weeks to come, I'm going all "Seacrest, out" on this show.

Sure the jewelry is just a fraction of what's wrong with the picture here, but I'm just too frustrated to tackle jeggings and dresses from JC Penny's right now.

Crazy Bachelor Birds

This season of The Bachelor has been by far the most entertaining. Rosalyn, the girl who supposedly hooked up with a staffer, has been made out to be the most dramatic moment, but I strongly disagree.

This flock of crazy birds has provided moment after moment of delicious drama. There's the girl who refuses kisses, the girl who insisted she was the only one who was "really" there for Jake (as there is every season), Vienna, the Brooke Hogan look alike, who everyone hated and conspired against to no avail, and so many more.

So here's to the reunion episode, where they'll get together and peck each other to pieces as our bachelor, Jake, smiles awkwardly at inappropriate moments. Enjoy!

Red Wine and Potato Chips

After a long and draining day, rather than make the intelligent decision to go to bed, I am indulging in red wine and potato chips and bad TV. The roomies and I are watching The Real Housewives of Orange County.

After watching a few episodes in a row we're ignoring the drama and just critiquing the fashion. Best dressed at dinner goes to Vicki who, for once Vicki is wearing a flattering, non-harsh, brown dress. We are all surprised.

Worst dressed goes to Alexis who, in her off the shoulder ruffled top, looks like that Barbie head so many of us had when we were younger, the one whose make-up you could do with the real hair you could brush and style.

Soon enough they'll all be drunk and things will get messy, but amazingly enough they will still all look perfect. If only a hair and make-up crew were on hand for touch-ups on my nights out.

Miley's "Rumors" - Eh, I mean "Fly on the Wall" Video

So I'm getting ready in the morning with MTV on and I hear annoying little Miley Cyrus with her catchy pop tunes in the background. When I actually pause for a moment to see the video, I realize that it's a cross between the Lindsay Lohan "Rumors" video and Michael Jackson's "Beat It." Now I know that no one is original anymore because it's just about impossible to accomplish, but if you're going to copy someone, why LiLo?

Back when "Rumors" first came out I was still quite the LiLo fan. She was from a neighboring hometown and a felt a certain sense of simpatico with her. The video cracked me up because the dance moves were strongly reminiscent of the cheerleading moves at the High School she went to, but I figured that's what I would have done had my pop star dreams ever come true.

Now Miley's doing it over again and she doesn't even attempt the choreography really. She just throws her arms around and wiggles her fingers together (I guess to symbolize "creepy little") like all the girls listening to it at their winter formals will be doing. You would think that with all of her dance war videos and whatnot that she could come up with something better, but maybe "Manders" (of Milers and Manders YouTube fame of course) was the brains behind the operation.

Frightening.